Deployment Sucks!

I think that it's really hard for people to understand what a spouse of a deployed soldier goes through; the trials, tribulations, and temptations. It’s not nearly as easy as you could imagine. It all begins from the day you find out that your spouse will be going over seas to do the dirty work of our “great” and I say that sarcastically, president George Bush. You go through a great sadness and start thinking of all the bad things that could happen to your spouse. What’s he going to be like when he comes home? How will he be changed? Will our marriage suffer from spending a year apart? What will if my spouse comes back wheel-chair bound, what if he doesn’t come back at all? That’s not even half of the scenarios that goes through your head but pretty much the basic ones that we all tend to think about.


Once you’re over the shock of the expected deployment you then begin to condition yourself to prepare for deployment. Decide if you’re going to move back to your home town, how the bills are going to be taken care of, think of any major decisions that might have to be made. You have to make sure the will is taken care of and power of attorney is in order. Oh my gosh, you wouldn’t believe what hard work that is sitting in the JAG office forever then discussing with the paralegal what will happen if your spouse doesn’t come back.


Deployment day arrives, you try to hold back the tears and put on your strongest face. The last thing you want to do is make deployment any harder for your soldier and children. It feel as though you could hug your arms around his neck forever. One last kiss just isn’t enough. You try to make the best of your last bit of time with him worth while all while he’s scrambling around trying to make sure he has his duffel bags, assault pack, and ruck sack all ready to go. Then without any notice your spouse is called to formation and you must leave at once. You get one last kiss, hug, and good bye and that’s it your on your way home alone. That’s when the reality of what’s happening hits you. It’s the start of a new life for the next year.


So now you’re not only the mommy who’s responsible for cooking and cleaning but you have to fill the void in your child’s life from your missing spouse. You play catch, give piggy back rides, discipline your child without any support, and make sure they know that mommy and daddy loves them. If that’s not hard enough you take your shower and go to your room. You look at the bed where your lover once laid and the bed is still made up on his side. You crawl into the cool sheets and miss the warm body you’re use to snuggling up to and the tender lips you’re so use to kissing good night.


During this time you must find time to email your soldier, send packages and letters, and make sure the phone is never out of ear shot. The worst thing is thinking that you could miss a call from your spouse. At first you freak out every time you hear about a soldier getting killed in Iraq but you quickly learn that it’s a reality and you must go on as though it never happened and just know inside your heart that your spouse is fine. You jump at every knock on the door praying to a higher power that it’s not a soldier in a class A uniform (that’s how they inform you of a death). When it gets dark at night and you are frightened you have to remember that you’re also the daddy and be brave even if that means putting your children in bed with you and huddling close.


So this is what I go through on a normal day. I’ll find anything to do to make the time pass by faster. I’ll push mow the lawn when it would be easier to use the riding mower, I walk the dogs when they already have a huge lawn to play in, and I talk to my friends and remember the good times I’ve had with my spouse and dream of the times to come.


Being a military wife is hard but I couldn’t imagine what my hero goes through each day being a soldier in the army. For that I look up to him, I trust him with my life, and would give the world for him. He’s my spouse, he’s my soldier, he’s my hero!